I stare at a photo in front of me. A photo I have seen hundreds of times before. A photo I vividly remember posing for on a chilly day in downtown New York City. I had my hands tucked in the ends of my sweatshirt and my purse held tightly over my right shoulder to help keep out the cold. My little sister awkwardly resting her blonde head on my shoulder and smiling her bright blue eyes and bare braces to the camera as my dad crouched down low to shoot us at an upward angle so as to capture the full scale of the high rise building standing behind us. I shivered there for a few minutes and let him take the shot. I had missed them being away from home for college and was anxious to show them around my new city.
This photo stares back at me like it has so many times before. Offering nothing more than a beautiful memory and a reminder of what freshly fallen snow can look like... before the atrocities of everyday life can trample it, tarnish it, and turn it to black. I've laid my hand on this photo so many times with tears and anguish in my heart begging God to bring it back. Help my life make sense again as it did on that day. Angry, Confused, Bitter, Hurt, Broken, Fighting, Fearful, Vengeful then eventually Peaceful, Calm, Hopeful... and now, Joyful.
This is the same photo I took and placed in the folds of my bible nearly 6 years ago to the day as a promise and a prayer that God would bring my sister back to me. I thought I had lost her forever. I thought life had finally won in destroying the most pure and beautiful gift God had ever blessed me with. I saw nothing but an early death, tragedy, and eternal loss in my life. It was God who saw more, took that evil and used it for something far beyond my comprehension. I stare at it in awe and wonder not understanding how the many miracles that had to have occurred to make the impossible possible actually came to pass. A one in a million chance yet here I sit as a humble witness to the amazing things God can do for you if you are patient and wait for His timing. My sister is a miracle, her story is a miracle, and her restoration is nothing short of miraculous.
I talk about the good as I sit and reflect upon the bad. I can still feel the utter heartbreak and devastation in this photo as it now represents so much more than its original purpose of capturing two naive sisters on a busy day in New York City. Its now the bookmark I keep in my bible and the scar I have on my heart to remind me of the incredible hurt and loss this world can cause... but then the amazing things God can do with the ashes left behind. Hidden behind the vivid colors of this photo is a promise of two little girls still fresh in their infancy learning how to walk again. Only this time giving it all to their Father in heaven; living a life reborn and refocused with more peace, love, and joy in their hearts than ever could have been held by the two strangers staring back at me.
